Monday Motivation - The Challenge....

The challenge…

Sometimes it appears to be something you clearly lack.  The question you were presented was simply unanswerable, the wall too high to climb, the rock too heavy to move.

Sometimes it takes the form of your history, your heredity or your bad luck – something completely out of your control that keeps from achieving as you hoped.

Sometimes it takes human form, morphing into that person you wish would support you but does not.  That person upon whom you rely only to be disappointed again… and again…and again.

Sometimes it manifests as weakness, pain or lack of stamina – the reason your body can go no further when you mind is willing.

Its real form is not your lack of talent or luck or support or physical gifts.  Its real form is your belief of lack thereof.  Where there is a way, the believer finds it.  Her relentlessness finds answers, her preparedness creates “good luck,” her passion attracts support, and her determination pushes through the pain.

You have everything you need to be successful….if you believe you should be…

Say It Loud

I am big believer in speaking my goals out loud.  I believe speaking your goals will help you speak them into existence. Say it loud!

When you speak your goals and not just think them, you become accountable. You have to own your goals and all of their consequences. You can't later decide you were "just kidding" or you didn't really want to do that.  You now have to answer the questions and give the progress reports to those you told.  If you stop pushing, you have to answer the question "why?"  You will have to face the shame of failing publicly.  That alone will motivate you to keep pushing until you get what you seek.  Say it loud!

Saying it loud has gotten me in trouble more than once.  You see, sometimes the people around you just don't want to hear it.  You may find out that the people around don't want you to do well.  Or maybe they do want you to do well, just a little less well than they do.  They may tell you there is something wrong with you or with your goal.  So what?  Say it loud!

Too many of us go "underground" with our goals.  We figure that if we don't tell anyone, we won't be embarrassed if we fail.  But here's the problem with that sort of secrecy.  You can't achieve anything great secretly.  It just doesn't work that way.  You can't good from hiding in the shadows playing in front of packed stadiums.  If you want to shine, first, you must take the stage.

Don't be afraid.  Say it loud!

Monday Motivation - True Power

True power is not the ability to lift large objects overhead with your muscles.

True power is not the ability to bend spoons with your mind      

True power is not the ability to make people ask “how high” when you say “Jump.”

True power is the knowledge that you are the one and only author of your fate.  True power is the knowledge that today, right this minute, you will build your future.  Right this second, you will decide whether you will travel a road to greatness or stay stuck in the same old rut. 

Because we are all a product of our past decisions, our past choices – and no one else’s.  Our fate is not determined by our genetics, our upbringing, our bad luck or the nefarious wishes of nameless, faceless “They.”  True power is the knowledge that there is no one to blame. 

Understanding this fact makes you powerful.  Understanding this means that all the bad decisions you have made in the past are irrelevant, because you can make a different decision this day.  You can change everything right now.  You can be “brand new” and it’s all within your power.  You are all-powerful!

If you believe…

Believe! 

"Alright" or "That Ain't Right?" - Flying Overweight

Last year, actor Kevin Smith was removed from a Southwest Airlines plane essentially because he was overweight.  Alright or That Ain’t Right?

Alright.  It is simply a matter of fairness.  When I fly, I pay for 100% of a seat.  It is not fair to me to only receive 80% of one because the person next to me is too large to fit in theirs.  When you go to the grocery store, if you place two items in your cart, you will be charged for two items.  With airlines, the seat is the item.  If you consume two, pay for two and if two are not available, you are out of luck.  It’s that simple.

That Ain’t Right!  It is a clear case of discrimination.  I don’t see airlines picking on anyone else who may consume more than their fair share of space.  When is the last time you heard someone removed from a plane because they were too tall?  But try sitting next to someone who is 6’ 5” and you will likely find that their arms, legs and shoulders will be in your personal space.  And how is overweight defined?  It is 250, 300, 350 pounds?  Will there be a scale in the jet way?  This is simply a case of a company (the airlines in this case) picking on a group that has no political advocate.  There is no March on Washington for "Fat Rights."

Sound off.  Is it "Alright" or "That Ain’t Right?"

The Only Trophies That Matter

By professional athlete standards, at 41, I am past my athletic prime.  I will never win a professional sports championship or hoist “the big trophy” over my head, but that does not mean that I am not a competitor.  Truth be told, I chase (and win) a trophy almost every single day.  My trophies will not make me rich and famous.  In fact, most often I win my trophies in total solitude and anonymity.  And yet, these are the only trophies that matter to me.    

I value this trophy so much that I have chased it in dozens, if not, hundreds of different cities and a handful of different countries.  I have chased this trophy at literally all times of the day and night.  As a matter of fact, as I write this, I am mentally preparing to claim my prize one more time.  And yet once, I earn my trophy, I toss it away like an angler in a catch-and-release tournament.  It is everything and nothing at all. 

This trophy is so meaningful to me because it can only be earned, not bought.  There is no way to cheat your way to it.  Some days, my trophy is the only thing I win and other days it is the start of day long winning streak.  At times, it brings solace and gives meaning to an otherwise meaningless day.  It signifies sacrifice and perseverance - the pride of accomplishment.

My trophy is a sweat soaked T-shirt.    

Ball and Chain

Some people never leave home without MasterCard.  I never left home without a dew rag, one of my collection of a dozen bandanas.  

I am prone to perspire, said charitably, at any fitness level.  When I was 80 pounds overweight, I was a sweat fountain!  I would sweat thinking about physical exertion, let alone experiencing any.  As a result, I  developed an entire protocol to account for my sweating and limit the embarrassment it would cause me.  The bandanas were a critical part of the protocol. 

Every day, I would have a long self conversation and some form of calculus would ensue:

• How warm is it outside?
• How hard will I have to work to get to my destination?
• How warm will it be inside when I arrive?
• Will I be presenting in front of a group or can I hang in the background?
• What can I wear to hide my sweat stains?  
• And don't forget the dew rag!

You may wonder why I spent so much time addressing the symptoms of the problem rather than the problem itself.  Sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees.  I was so used to making allowances for being overweight that I barely realized I was doing it.  For a long while, I was simply resigned to living life with an extra degree of difficulty.  The maneuvering around my weight issues was simply additional weight I elected to carry, my personal ball and chain. 

I had no idea how much weight I was carrying emotionally until I was no longer carrying the weight physically. I share this story to encourage you to take a closer look at your life.  Maybe you have some bandanas that you don't need to be carrying.  They are heavier than you think.  

Psst! I have a secret

Psst!  I have a secret.

All diets suck!  They all fail.  They are all over promoted and oversold. They all over promise and under deliver.  Many of these programs are written by straight up grifters.  Wait a minute, that's no secret!  However, my real secret changed my life and may change yours, too.

Riddle me, this?  Why do we buy so many diets books when every one of them says some variation of the exact same thing:  eat less, move more.  There isn't an adult alive that doesn't know the weight loss formula:  weight loss occurs when calories burned exceed calories consumed.  And yet, there is a multi billion dollar industry essentially built around selling ice to Eskimos.  However, the one nugget (the secret) that is so carefully omitted from all of these books is the only thing you really need to know.

Now, here's the secret.  Your success with a diet and exercise program, or anything else for that matter, has almost nothing to do with the "how" and everything to do with the "why."  If your "why" is strong enough, you will figure out "how," no matter the "what."  Let me remix that.  If your "why" is strong enough, you will figure out "how," no matter the "what" AND no matter what.

Every diet program tells us in laborious detail what to eat, how much to eat and when to eat it.  Exercise programs tell us what to move, how to move it and how often.  This is not what we need from our programs.  We need to know how to stay on the damn things in the first place!  This is the Special Sauce and we all know that a Big Mac ain't a Big Mac without the Special Sauce.

The strength of your "why," the reason for your effort, will determine how much sacrifice you are willing to make to reach your goals.  The right "why" is that thing that is so important to you that you will place it above your urge to fall off the wagon.  The diet books get it twisted, either accidentally or on purpose, by trying to convince us that their program is so easy that it will help us overcome a lack of motivation.  And this is why all diets suck!  Diets are restrictions which are, by definition, hard.  They can only be made easy by someone whose mind is made up.  There is nothing in world more powerful than a mind made up!

When I found my "why," in 24 hours, I went from someone who would not run across the street to avoid oncoming traffic to someone who was willing to start running to train for road races.  I have since gathered many more "whys," which have strengthened my resolve to the point that it's nearly bulletproof.  And, trust me, you can do the same!

The secret to success in fitness, and in nearly everything else, is discovering your "why." Don't buy another diet book without it!

Monday Motivation - Ninety Percent

Ninety percent…

Ninety percent of the world swears they will start tomorrow, never understanding that there are only two relevant measures of time - now and not now.  One gets no credit for what may happen tomorrow, only for what is happening now.

Ninety percent does not understand that the effort itself, even a failed effort, is a noble act.  They do not understand that the effort itself is the difference between courage and cowardice. 

Ninety percent does not realize that even an inch of progress today is far better than the promise of miles of progress at some undetermined later date.  Inches, become feet, which become yards, which become miles when you string enough of them together.

Ninety percent of the world rests while they could be working.  Ninety percent are seeking an alibi, permission for delaying their quest for something better.  Other “ninety percenters” are happy to oblige as they seek the same alibi. 

The rest see it differently. 

The rest are all about "now" so they go get it right now. They understand that tomorrow is not promised.  They understand that one-hundred percent effort means zero percent regret.

The rest see intrinsic value in the effort, regardless of its outcome, and feel shame on the rare occasions when they fail to put forth that effort.  They hold themselves accountable, even when no one else sees their fleeting moment of weakness.

The rest understand the value of an inch, so they treasure every single one.  They may fall often, but they work to fall forward and always rise from a fall.  Their determination to collect inches leaves them miles ahead. 

The rest don't give themselves any room for excuses. Their consciences hold them to a higher standard than the world ever could.  Therefore, they would never give a "ninety percent" effort.

Every day, I seek to earn a spot among them, these other ten percent. 

So I work.

B's Three - Making Your Workout Fit Your Lifestyle

As we all are aware, one of the keys to staying fit is to work out consistently.  Often, having the discipline to work out consistently is difficult because “life gets in the way.”  The trick to preventing life blowing up your well-intentioned workout plans to choose a workout program schedule that fits your lifestyle.  Below are three ways to remove many of barriers / reasons / excuses we give ourselves for “falling off the wagon” when comes to exercise.     

1.       Choose the Right Venue – Although you may be hyper-motivated when you first start a new workout plan, don’t set yourself up for failure to choosing an inconvenient workout spot.  Ideally, the place you work out should be somewhere you have to go (or at least pass by) almost every day.  This will make it easier to exercise on the days your motivation is a little weak.  Also, if you work out home, you have to pick a space and time (see below) that your family can support as well.  If the “home team” is not happy with your workout program, you will not be able to stick with it consistently.  

2.       The Right Time - Don't convince yourself that you will behave against your nature to get your workouts in.  If you are a night owl, 4 am workouts will not work for you in the long term and “early birds” probably won’t have energy to stick with night workouts.  For those who have families and work out at home, you will need to choose a time that fits your family’s schedule as well.  Try to find that window of time that does not shake, rattle and roll the house while everyone is sleeping.  Also, you will want to choose a time in which your children cannot “participate” in your workouts.  My five-year old daughter is the cutest little girl in the world, but I find it difficult to do push-ups with her on my shoulders J 

 

3.       The Right Program – Finally, you should choose your workout program to fit not only the venue and time you have chosen, but also your schedule.  For example, if you travel a lot, your workout program can't rely on being in a specific place or using particular weights (unless you can bring them with you).  You will quickly become “too busy” to work out.    

Make it easier on yourself by choosing a workout program that works with you rather than against you.  Follow these tips and you will be well on your way to staying fit forever!  

Is it a crime?

Is it a crime that I linger in front of the mirror sometimes?  That I take an extra minute or two or three to admire what I see?  Some people may say it's vain to love my own image the way I do.  Would you agree?

Is it a crime that I linger in front of the mirror especially long after an especially good workout?  That I lift my shirt to reveal a four pack with plans for two more on the way?  I can remember when my middle was anything but little.  I can remember when my belly looked like the whole keg - not just a few cans.  It was only an eye's blink ago.  So is it a crime that I admire what I see today?

Is it a crime that I linger in front of the mirror sometimes?  That I take an extra gaze at arms that cut and jut just so - revealing biceps and triceps that have been doin' some serious work?  It wasn't so long ago that the only thing I saw when I looked at my arms was sweat circles.  That I was so out of shape that I would start to sweat by lifting a fork, let alone a dumbbell.

I earned this body.  I earned this body with hundreds of early morning work outs.  I earned this body with thousands of push ups and hundreds of push backs.  I earned this body one sweat drenched T shirt at a time.  I chiseled it like a sculptor. Is it wrong to admire my work?

So is it a crime?  Is it a crime that I revel in my reflection today?  That I gaze a little longer at arms that cut and jut just so.  Is it a crime that I look in the mirror and smile?

I don't think so. 

It's Not You. It's Me.

I'm writing to tell you I can't see you anymore.

I know that writing a letter is a punk move.  I should be doing this in person, but I can't handle it right now.  I still find you irresistible and if I see you now, you and I both know where that will lead.  The mere sight of your golden brown skin makes me lose all sense of reason and self-control.  I'm just plain reckless around you.  Remember that time on the stairs?  Breaking up with you is the only way I can cope with this strange addiction.

Please know that you didn't do anything wrong.  I knew from the start that this could end badly.  You warned me that dudes were always getting sprung over you and that I would do the same.  I  knew you weren't looking for a lasting relationship, just a good time.  I should have listened to you then.

The simple truth is that you and I are toxic together.  The adrenaline rush I feel when we are together is always followed by regret and despair.  As much as I love you, and I do still love you, I am tired of always having to undue the damage that us being together causes.  You are who you are and I know I can't ask you to change.  So I must make a change.

Please believe me when I say that it's not you.  It's me. So, French fries, I have decided to give you up forever...or least for a little while.

What did you think I was talking about?

A Better Man

A few years ago, I glanced across the room at my young son realized that I was staring at "Mini Me."  Frequently, I would catch him mimicking my mannerisms, no matter how subtle.  He would use the same words I would use at times.  When I would behave badly, he would behave badly right along with me.  I did not set out to teach him any of those things.  I thought to myself, "uh oh."  He is going to be who I show him I am, not who I tell him to be.

When my son was three years old, one of his favorite games to play was "Shoulders." In "Shoulders," my role was to hoist my son on my shoulders and then run the length of our backyard until HE got tired.  Needless to say, "Shoulders" was always a quick game.  One of the reasons "Shoulders" never lasted very long is because my son was a big 'ol boy back then, almost unnaturally big.  He was a load to put on my shoulders!  As all Daddies do, I would also look at my son and fast forward into the future.  


In my mind's eye, I saw a him as football player, a defensive end with bad intentions.  I saw him coming around the end like a freight train, blowing up the QB, scooping up the ensuing fumble and running 57 yards to the end zone, putting more space between he and the competition with each stride.

As he reached the end zone, he looked up into the stands to look for me, but saw only an empty seat where I should have been sitting.  You see, this was his tribute to his late father, me, who passed away years earlier.

When I snapped out of that daydream, if it can be called that, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw someone I would not want him to be - at least physically.  And I knew he was copying my every move.  So if I wanted a different future for him tomorrow, I had to be different today.  I wanted him to be able to look at me as the blueprint, not the cautionary tale.

Why do I stay fit?  Why do I get up at 4am or sometimes earlier to work out?  Why do I work out when I used to sleep?  Why do I moderate when I used to indulge?  Why do I find a way when I used to find an excuse?  


My children, my son and his little sister, make me want to be a better man.  

I'm Just Big Boned (Fatback and Jelly Rolls)

Somewhere along the way, I stopped trying to bullshit myself.  My line was that "I come from a long line of short -and wide - folk," so I was born to be fat.  I could resist it for a little while, but long term, I really has no choice in the matter.  That's the way I used to feel about my body.  I was just "big boned."  And then I finally came clean.

I used to be 10 pounds stuffed in a 5 pound bag!  More specifically, I was 230 pounds crammed into a mere 65 inch skeleton.  Genetics were not my problem.  My problem was that I loved beer and chicken wings more than I feared my mortality.

The brutal truth is that I chose my fatback and my jelly rolls.  I chose the hot dog folds on the back of my neck.  I chose all three of my chins and each and every one of my 230 pounds.  I took me years to understand this, but when I finally did it was liberating!

Because if I chose fatback and jelly rolls, it was within my power make a different choice.  Choosing differently is not easy, it's never easy, but it least it was an option.  I finally embraced the message of something my father likes to say.  When he is playing the role of the Cranky Old Man and feeling particularly ornery, one of his favorite lines is "the only two things I have to do is stay Black and die."  Being fat is not something I have to be.  And that was a revelation!

Somewhere along the way, I decided that I was a product of my past choices, not my genetics, so-called bone size, metabolism, gland problem, culture, upbringing, busy schedule or any other foolishness I used to tell myself.  I decided that if I could just string some good choices together long enough, I knew I would be living in a new reality.  And today I am.  And I have discovered that my bones are no larger than anyone else's.

Are you big boned too?  Isn't it funny that one's "bone size" seems to be perfectly aligned with how much they love beer and chicken wings?  I'm jus' sayin'...