I'm Just Big Boned (Fatback and Jelly Rolls)

Somewhere along the way, I stopped trying to bullshit myself.  My line was that "I come from a long line of short -and wide - folk," so I was born to be fat.  I could resist it for a little while, but long term, I really has no choice in the matter.  That's the way I used to feel about my body.  I was just "big boned."  And then I finally came clean.

I used to be 10 pounds stuffed in a 5 pound bag!  More specifically, I was 230 pounds crammed into a mere 65 inch skeleton.  Genetics were not my problem.  My problem was that I loved beer and chicken wings more than I feared my mortality.

The brutal truth is that I chose my fatback and my jelly rolls.  I chose the hot dog folds on the back of my neck.  I chose all three of my chins and each and every one of my 230 pounds.  I took me years to understand this, but when I finally did it was liberating!

Because if I chose fatback and jelly rolls, it was within my power make a different choice.  Choosing differently is not easy, it's never easy, but it least it was an option.  I finally embraced the message of something my father likes to say.  When he is playing the role of the Cranky Old Man and feeling particularly ornery, one of his favorite lines is "the only two things I have to do is stay Black and die."  Being fat is not something I have to be.  And that was a revelation!

Somewhere along the way, I decided that I was a product of my past choices, not my genetics, so-called bone size, metabolism, gland problem, culture, upbringing, busy schedule or any other foolishness I used to tell myself.  I decided that if I could just string some good choices together long enough, I knew I would be living in a new reality.  And today I am.  And I have discovered that my bones are no larger than anyone else's.

Are you big boned too?  Isn't it funny that one's "bone size" seems to be perfectly aligned with how much they love beer and chicken wings?  I'm jus' sayin'...